#and have not left me a moment to myself today
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good luck charm: bonus drabble
come and get your love
summary: after a hard day, you do something to cheer evan up.
word count: 1.6k
series masterlist
a/n: this might be stupid, but it was fun to write and i think it’s cute so sue me!! sigh, i miss good luck charm evan, and i'm sorry this took so long, i just couldn't think of any scenarios i really wanted to tell. if you have any drabble ideas for this series, i'm happy to hear them! enjoy<33
warnings: none, no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader
You’re in the bedroom putting away some laundry when you hear the front door slam, and you jump in surprise, a frown making its way onto your face immediately. You know exactly what that door slam means; Evan has had a bad day.
“Hi, baby.” you say, peeking your head over the railing and looking at him in the kitchen getting some water. You offer him a small smile when he looks up at you, and although he gives you a smile back, you can tell it’s fake even from up in the loft. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and you sigh sadly.
When you make it to the bottom of the stairs and walk towards him standing near the fridge, you wrap your arms around his neck and raise up onto your toes to give him a kiss. You feel the way he melts into your embrace, and it’s almost as if you can feel all of the stress radiating off of his body; it’s practically suffocating you, and you can’t even imagine how he feels.
“Rough day?” you ask, and he nods once, jaw clenched.
He’s been working extremely hard the past few weeks at the LAFD training academy, and while he comes home most days exhausted but content, there’s some days where he can get overwhelmed.
“You have no idea.” he tells you, his hands finding their way to your hips. You give him a sad smile, then pull him down for another kiss, hoping to get him to relax a little bit more.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He huffs at your question, thinking for a moment. He knows it would be better to get it out of his system, but he doesn’t want to dump it all on you. He knows how hard you’ve been working at your new job, and he doesn’t want you worrying about him as well.
“Hey, we don’t keep stuff in, that’s not what we do. You told me that.” you urge him softly when he doesn’t reply right away. He sighs, a smile fighting its way onto his face at your reminder. He nods after a moment, looking into your eyes and rubbing his thumb across your cheek.
“The physical stuff is fine, I’m passing everything easily. Just- The instructors say stuff; try to get into your head. It just got to me today.” he explains with a frown. You nod your head as he speaks, keeping your gaze locked with his. When he’s finished you tilt your head to the side, waiting for him to continue, but when he doesn’t, you raise your brows.
“Do you want to tell me what they said today that got you so worked up?” you urge. You don’t necessarily want to push him, but you know that he needs to talk it out, so you keep your eyes on him, as if pleading with him to tell you.
“We were doing this drill today, and there were a bunch of dummies. They gave them all back stories to make them feel real. I don’t know, I guess I just got caught up in it and in my mind they were real people, because they will be one day. I tried to go back into the building even when some of the other guys let the fire get out of hand because there were still a few dummies left in the building, and some guys had to hold me back.” he says in one big breath, and you follow along with furrowed brows, hoping he’ll continue.
“Well, they know I have you, and I guess they picked up on the fact that I was thinking about you the whole time; thinking about you in there. They were just saying stuff about me not being able to save you because of my mistakes, and about you having to plan my funeral because I got reckless on the job and I got myself killed.” he continues after a moment. He chews on the inside of his cheek as he waits for you to reply, and your eyes soften at his admission.
You shake your head, bringing his head down to rest your foreheads against each other with your hand on the back of his neck. You keep him there for a moment in silence, trying to gather your thoughts before you reply.
“My love, your heart is what will make you a good firefighter. You care so much about people. And I have no doubt that you’d be able to save me if you had to, because you’re smart, and capable, and you love so deeply. And I’m not gonna lie, the thought of you getting hurt on the job has crossed my mind, but I know that you’re gonna fight to come home everyday, aren’t you?” He nods immediately, brows furrowing.
“Of course, I will. You know I will.” he replies, and you smile.
“Then I’m not too worried. Worry about actually finishing your training first, and then we’ll talk about you dying on the job, okay? Because I guarantee that when you start at an actual station, you’ll trust your team a lot more than the recruits. You can’t even imagine all the stories my dad has told me about the people he had to train with.” you tell him with a small laugh. You can still see a bit of hesitancy in his eyes as he tells you that you’re right, so you lead him to the couch and sit him down.
“I know exactly what you need.” you tell him when he sits down, then turn and grab your phone off the kitchen counter.
A small, real smile finally makes its way to his face when he sees you scrolling through your phone, knowing exactly what you’re about to do. When one of you has a bad day, the other always does something to make the other smile. He doesn’t even remember when or how this tradition started, but he does know that it always makes him smile regardless of how many times you do it.
His smile widens when he hears the beginning to Redbone’s Come and Get Your Love from the speaker connected to the tv, and you turn from your spot in the kitchen to face him.
You walk over to him as the beat starts, moving your shoulders in time with each step and fighting back a smile, and when the singing starts, you grab the tv remote off the coffee table and begin to lip sync into it.
He watches as you dance to the music with a wide smile, watching the way you move your hips in time with the music, and he can already feel himself start to feel better. He chuckles when you grab one of his hands and duck down to spin under his arm, and when you turn back to face him, you drop his hand and back up a few feet.
When the chorus starts, you continue lip syncing as you raise your hand in a “come here” motion, rolling your body in time with the beat. He gets up off the couch, keeping his eyes locked with yours, then grabs your hips, pulling you against him.
You both sway to the music with smiles on your face. You can tell that he feels better, and you’re extremely grateful. You know how stressful the job can be, and you only hope you can help him through it as much as you can.
The song finally ends, and he lifts you up with his hands going to the backs of your thighs, and you giggle as you wrap your legs around his waist.
“You always know what to do, princess.” he says with a grin, and all you can do is lean down to press your lips to his.
“I know what else I can do to help you feel better.” you murmur against his lips. You feel his grip tightening on the back of your thighs, and he groans, pulling back from your lips to look at you with blown pupils.
“I’m keeping you in bed until tomorrow morning.” he teases, then sets you back down onto the ground. He then grabs your waist and turns you towards the stairs, then pushes you forward gently, but not before giving your ass a firm smack. You yelp at the contact, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder as he speaks.
“Go upstairs, princess. I’ll be right up.”
“What are you doing?” you ask, but obey and walk towards the stairs.
“I’m ordering takeout, gonna see what I can do before it gets here.” he teases, and you laugh softly, rolling your eyes.
His eyes dart between your ass as you walk up the stairs, and his phone, and when he’s finally placed the order, he races up the stairs two at a time.
He grins when he sees that you’re already naked, sprawled out on the bed and sitting up on your elbows waiting for him. He groans as he takes off his shirt, then unzips his pants, and then he’s on you in an instant, lips attaching to your neck.
“How could I do this without you, princess?” he whispers against your neck, goosebumps erupting on your skin as his hot breath hits your neck.
“You’d be lost without me.” you tease as you tilt your head back. You feel him grinding against you as he chuckles, and you lower your chin to meet his gaze when he leans back to look at you.
“Damn right, I would.”
notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33
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Throne
CW: oral (f) and fingers
You and Spencer are friends who attended at party for a mutual friend and find you have an interesting shared book fantasy.
It had been several hours since you’d arrived at the party for a mutual friend. Reid had been cautiously watching you as you talked to everyone and gave them a small amount of your time. Every so often your gazes would meet and you’d exchange a smile from a distance. Although you’d greeted him when he walked in, you’d been rushed away my another friend for some kind of emergency. Every guy you talked to made Reid anxious. He hated the idea of you walking out of this place with someone else. Anyone else but him. Finally you made your way over to him, sitting down beside him and smiling.
“Welcome back”. Spencer said as you took a sip of your drink.
“Thanks. It’s been very hectic. You’d think for a going away party it would be more fun. Instead I’m chasing down my drunk friends.” You sighed.
“Yeah, I think I saw one of my drunk friends fall off the bar earlier.” He laughed.
“I saw that. I think we’re the only two here that aren’t drinking.”
“I like to be in control of myself. I drink occasionally but in this atmosphere I don’t think it’s wise.”
“I agree. To much going on and I’m already over stimulated”
“Glad I’m not the only one.” He nodded.
You tucked your hair behind your ears and shifted closer to him. “I’m really happy you came.”
Spencer’s eyes lit up, “I’m glad too. I’ll admit I was on the fence until I heard you’d be coming too.”
“Really?”
He nodded, “Yeah. This isn’t my thing. Bars. Or people.”
“I would much rather be at home reading. I hate all this.” You shrugged.
“Oh, that’s reminds me I started reading this book about ancient erotica and I think -“
At that you held up your hand to stop him,“Did you just say erotica?”
Spencer nodded, “Yeah, but not in the way you’re thinking of pornography. It’s rather tasteful compared to today’s idea of erotica. I’ve read a few of what is considered erotic today and I think it’s just porn on paper.”
You stared at him for a long moment. His brown eyes stared back anticipating your response.
“Porn on paper is called smut now.” You smirked.
“Yes, and it is just sexually charged writing. Ancient erotica is art. Paintings and images that are tastefully done.” Reid explained.
“I guess my bookshelf is filled with porn then.” You laughed softly.
“You read…smut?” He bit his lip.
Suddenly you felt hot. Did the temperature go up? You’d just admitted you had read spicy books.
“I-wel-…I mean…I have other kinds of books too.” You stammered. “I have biographies and nonfiction also. Fantasy.”
Spencer was enjoying watching you squirm. You were flustered now. He could see trying to save whatever semblance of a normal conversation there was left.
“Fantasy? What kind of fantasy?” He asked.
“No sexual fantasy…I have Fourth Wing. Have you read it?”
“Dragons and thunder…I have read it and its sequel.” Reid nodded. “But may I ask…how you felt about the throne scene?”
He was torturing you now. He watched as your eyes went wide and your breathing halted just enough to notice.
“I…uh…Spence…you’re doing this on purpose.” You said softly.
“Am I? I’m just curious.”
You raised an eyebrow, “Are you?”
“Very…” He nodded.
He watched you bite your lip. The conversation had taken a sharp turn and now you were staring at each other, both quiet. You wished you knew what he was thinking about.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Spencer finally asked.
“Yes”. You agreed.
He stood and held out his hand for you. You took it and slipped out of your seat, following him out the door. You felt anxious as you walked out into the cold air, cautiously looking up at him.
“Did you drive?” He asked, looking back.
“No…I came with (your mutual friend’s name).”
“You should probably tell her you’re leaving.” Spencer smirked.
“I can text her.” You blushed a little as you arrived at Spencer’s car.
You turned to face him as he opened the door for you. It was only now that you realized he was so much taller than you. All the time working with him at the university and you’d never noticed. He stepped closer and slid a hand around your waist.
“Can I kiss you?” Spencer asked.
Your brained seemed to short circuit, unable to form words, so you nodded almost too enthusiastically. Spencer leaned down and cupped your face, kissing you gently. The feel of his mouth on yours was dizzying. You weren’t drunk but you felt like it. He pulled you a little closer and you welcomed the feel of his body. After a few long moments he pulled back leaving you aching his touch. He gazed at you, stroking your cheek gently.
“Still want to go home with me?” He asked.
“Yes” Was all you could managed, still seeing stars.
Spencer helped you in the car before closing the door and running to the other side. You watched him get in and start the car.
“Don’t forget to text (your friend’s name).”
“Oh, right.” You reached for your phone and sent a quick text letting them know you’d found a ride.
They sent a reply with eggplant emoji’s and water droplets. Thank God it was dark because your cheeks were red at the idea of them knowing who you’d left with. The man you’d confided in her to having a crush on from the minute he’d walked into your life. As he drove you pulled your sleeves over your hands and fidgeted with them anxiously. You couldn’t have possibly expected him to not notice. He reached over and laced his fingers with yours.
“You play with your clothes when you’re nervous.” Spencer said, glancing at your hands.
Of course he’d noticed. The many meetings you’d sat in together, the times you’d been in the elevator together alone, the time he’d come to you asking for your opinion on a case, he’d seen it every time he was near you. You looked up as you felt the car slow to a stop. He put the car in park and you both sat for a moment. Finally your eyes met his. He gave you a soft smile.
“Do you still want to come inside?” Spencer asked.
“I do.” You answered.
He nodded and got out of the car, coming around to open your door and helped you out. Her nerves were started to become more noticeable. You didn’t do this. You never went home with guys. Especially not guys you worked with. Especially not anyone with an IQ of 187 and read books on ancient erotica. Spencer took your hand and led you into his building. Once in the elevator you chewed at your lip, your fingers linked with his as he pressed the button to his floor.
“Are you okay?” Spencer asked, reaching up to brush your hair behind your ear.
“Spence…you need checking on me. I’m fine. I’m sure. I promise.” You said, standing on your toes to kiss him.
He cupped your neck, returning the kiss. He was gentle and soft. You could only hope he maintained that once you were in his apartment. The elevator dings upon arriving at his floor. He pulled away reluctantly and you stepped off, making your way to his front door.
“I’m slightly surprised we aren’t stumbling down your hallway, too impatient to get inside.” You joked.
Spencer slid his key in the door, “We could have been but you deserve more respect than me just trying to fuck you.”
Your jaw dropped, surprised. “Spencer Reid said fuck!” You smirked.
“I’ve been known to swear on occasion.” He replied, letting you inside.
You stepped inside the apartment, looking around. He closed the door and locked it.
“So…what now?” He asked, stepping closer to you.
“Spence…we both know what’s going to happen…but can we pretend for five seconds that you’re not thinking about undressing me and be making obscene sounds shortly thereafter?” You asked, taking his hand.
“Well now that you’ve put that image in my head…it’s going to be hard not to.” He smirked.
“You mentioned you had books. I want to see the collection.”
“The lady gets what the lady wants.” He replied, leading you to his bookshelf.
It seemed to overflow with classic literature in many languages. You looked at the titles, a few familiar and many you’d never seen or heard of. Then your eyes caught a familiar gold cover. You smirked and pulled out Fourth Wing.
“You really did read it.” You smirked.
“You and Penelope wouldn’t shut up about it, I was curious what had you so worked up. It’s not my thing but it peaked my interest.” He replied. “Especially chapter 48 in Iron Flame.”
You froze, knowing exactly what he was referring to. He leaned in close, his breath hot on your skin.
“My house. My chair. My woman.” He whispered.
You looked up at him, your mouth suddenly dry. You had forgotten he’d mentioned the throne room scene.
“You…um…you know the exact chapter.” You stammered.
He smirked down at you. “Of course I do. You never told me how you felt about it.”
“I mean…obviously it’s hot.” You turned to face him. “What woman doesn’t want a man worshipping her on his knees on a throne.”
Spencer raised an eyebrow. “Is that what you want?”
“Do you have a throne?” You asked.
“Not quite a throne, but I definitely have a chair we can pretend is a thrown.”
You licked your lips as you felt your pulse rising. You felt hot again. You knew why you’d come to his apartment and now was the time you stopped pretending it was innocent.
“Show me.”
Spencer gave a soft smile and led you to his room. It was neat, bed made and everything orderly. Your eyes fell upon a gorgeous leather chair near the window. It was the perfect reading chair, but tonight it was going to be a throne for him to worship you on. He walked you over and you admired it. You could see it was tall enough that your feet might dangle if you sat down, and the leather was soft. God forbid you dig your nails into it and mark the leather.
“Are you sure?” Spencer asked from behind you.
You felt his hands sliding up your arms, stroking your biceps gently. His breath was hot on your neck as you leaned back into him.
“Yes.” You said, eyes closing when he kissed your neck.
“Then sit down.”
You swallowed anxiously, turning to face him before sitting down. You could have sworn his eyes darkened just a bit as he moved to the floor. Surprisingly the chair was the perfect height for you to be face to face. You pulled him against you and kissed him. His hands ran through your hair and down your shoulders. You knew exactly want was coming. He pulled away and removed your shoes. As his hands moved to your jeans you feel your pulse racing and your breathing quicken. He pulls you to the edge of the chair and tugs them down your legs. The air conditioning sends goosebumps over your skin as Spencer looks up at you. His eyes met yours and you forgot to breathe. He didn’t look away as you placed kisses on your legs, creeping higher and higher up your thigh.
“You’re so gorgeous.” He said, stroking your opposite thigh. “God, you’re perfect.”
You bit your lip, having trouble forming words. All you wanted was for him to devour and absolutely worship you. His hand slid over your hips and to the top of your underwear. The second they were gone you knew you’d never be able to recover. You ached for him. Slowly he slid them down and you watched him carefully. Spencer’s eyes darkened even more at the sight of you bare before him. He could see the moisture pooling at your core and he was instantly rock hard.
“Last time…you want this?” He asked.
“Last time, yes.” You panted, “Please, God, just touch me.”
Begging wasn’t something you’d thought you’d be doing but you were desperate. He nodded, moving one leg to sit over the arm of the chair and the other over his shoulder. You nearly came as his tongue slid through your wet folds. You let out a loud gasp, your head falling back against the back of the chair. He swirled around your clit, toying with it gently.
“Spencer, fuck!” You moaned, nails digging into the leather.
He smiled as he continued his actions, lapping up your juices. His hands held you firmly in place and you squirmed under his.
“Don’t stop, please.” You whimpered.
Spencer watched you coming undone, enjoying every second of it. Watching your breathing catch when he licked your clit. You moaned even louder when he slid a finger into you. It was nearly enough to finish you. Your hand moved to his hair and you tugged at it, causing him to groan against you. The vibrations only added to the pleasure. He added another finger, pushing you closer to the edge.
“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck…” You panted, so close to cumming.
Spencer felt you clench around his fingers and you moved them faster. His tongue massaged your delicate folds until finally you couldnt hold on.
“Spence, oh, fuck…” You whimpered before coming undone.
He smiled, working you through it. Finally you could breathe again and you looked down at him. He was just watching you, stroking your thigh gently.
“You okay?” He asked.
“More than okay.” You blushed as you sat up.
“How was it?”
“It rivaled all the fantasies I had about being worshipped in a thrown”. You admitted.
#doctor reid#spencer reid fanfiction#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#crimnal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfiction#dr reid#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader smut
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When the party's over <3
Summary- Y/N suffers with the birthday blues after having a small party for her birthday
Warnings?- Fluff, crying
Everything was going so well with the party, I was having fun with friends, having a little bit to drink and spending time with the people that mean most to me. Me and Matt had so much fun organising everything. It was getting late and Matt made the call for everyone to start leaving, I was almost about to drift off to sleep before Matt had said anything. I got up and hugged all of my guests goodbye. Now it was only me and Matt left in our house. I fell back onto the couch and closed my eyes.
"Come on sleepy head, lets go to bed." Matt said softly. I nodded sleepily and Matt pulled me up from the sofa to carry my upstairs carefully. Matt had placed one arm under my knees and the other arm supporting my back. Bridal style. Matt had always loved to carry me like this, he just feels so protective of me.
We had reached the bedroom and Matt placed me down onto the bed softly and gently. He carefully took off my party dress and replaced it with my pyjamas. He was now tucking me under the covers.
An overwhelming amount of emotion crashed over me like a tidal wave. Soft sniffles escaped my mouth. This grabbed Matt's attention.
"Oh baby what's wrong?" He asked worried. Matt had quickly got himself undressed and put some sweatpants on before coming to my aid. I just stared at the ceiling with tears running down my face. "Baby, c'mon, talk to me. What's wrong?" He raised his eyebrows.
"It's just I'm really thankful for everything I have in my life, whether that is the people or this house or my car. Today just really showed me that everyone in my life does care." I just made myself more upset. Matt chuckled in relief.
"Oh sweetie, that's lovely. You're just suffering from the birthday blues at the moment." He smiled, kissed me on my lips softly and put his arm around me, allowing me to snuggle into his chest. Matt was so reassuring and comforting. He was the best.
"I love you Matt. Thank you." I had felt so much better now that I was in bed cuddling Matt.
"No problem sweetheart, I'm always here." Matt kissed my head and I slowly drifted off to sleep.
Banner credits to @bernardsbendystraws <3
Hey guys! I hope you really enjoyed this small fanfic! if you have any suggestions/requests, please do not hesitate to drop me a message and I will try and get back to you asap! <3
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo imagine#matt x reader#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#dad!matt#nicolas sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew imagines#matthew sturniolo#.。*゚+.*Remi's corner *.+*゚.。
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So, if you all remember the broken-bones lady and the horrible male, I still visit them pretty often! The woman is still recovering, and there's a lot of chores she can't do, I come by to do her shopping, cleaning, moving things around, and sometimes meal prep.
However, a week ago when I went I had ended up in an argument with the horrible male. I wanted to write about it, but the subject was so controversial I got scared that half of you would get mad at me, so I gave up on sharing it. But during that argument, I crossed the line of what a woman is allowed to say to a male, and I said something that then let him know I find myself smarter than him (which I do), and this shocked and infuriated him. He started to openly despise me.
Since then he couldn't look at me or talk to me, he would avert his eyes away from me, and sometimes criticize me on completely inane stuff (you're making too much noise putting the dishes away). I didn't mind that he finally openly hates me, because at least that's honest.
However today I went over to clean, and things took a different turn. I happened to miss a spot while cleaning, and the woman told me he demanded for me to come back and clean it – and I did, happily, saying something like 'oh I didn't see that!' while being perfectly friendly and happy to fix it. I was alone in the room with him. He started on me then. He told me I was being careless, doing worse job every time. That this was only one of my many mistakes and she, his wife, was just too polite to call me out on it. But he would call me out on it every time.
I just laughed him off and said something along the lines of 'Yeah the older I am the more I suck at this! :) you can tell me if I do something wrong sure!' because I refuse to be unnerved by the bullshit criticism, I didn't particularly care if I did a bad job because missing a spot on the floor is so non-consequential – and I immediately fixed it.
But I was starting to feel uncomfortable in there, and I noticed he waited to be alone in a room with me in order to start on me, and I thought, I'm gonna snitch on him. I'm gonna subtly tell his wife what he did. And I went to her with a smile saying 'Hey your husband is mad at me because I do such a bad job! He told me I'm getting worse and making so many mistakes, and you're just too polite to say so.' and she was stunned and then told me the part I didn't know – he intentionally left some trash in the corner under the curtain where I wouldn't see it, in order for me to miss it, so he could call me out on it! And I'm realizing then, that this was a setup, he wanted to get a chance to berate me, and knew I would miss that spot – because it's a place where vacuum cleaner can't reach, so I only clean it every other time, and this time I didn't.
She then told me that it's not about me, he's lately short and difficult with everyone, even she is having problems with him. She explained to me that it's not his fault, it's just that he's sick and she doesn't know what to do. She begged me not to be mad at him.
And I reassured her not to worry, stroked her back as she told me teary eyed about how she struggles to deal with him almost every day. I was pained by the fact that this woman is in an abusive marriage right now and the only thing she's worried about is the opinion of outsiders, of me. It was more serious than I thought, I thought he just hated me, but he hated her too. And she was heartbroken. She insisted he used to be a good m*n, that this was not 'the real him'.
I decided to be more cautious, and to consult with her before saying anything to him at any point, because if I set him off, it's likely she'll be paying the price for it. This became a hostage situation so fast! A moment earlier I was just annoyed that he's hateful to me, but now I have to worry about what he's going to do to his own wife if I dare to argue with him.
I'm again, so tired of the world males have built where they can just do this, and I can't do anything to stop it, or to even say what I want to say without worrying what's going to happen next. That's an insane way to be expected to live! I want to move away from this city and live in nature so badly right now, where I don't have to be involved in this kind of horror. Death to all males who take their shit out on their wives.
#life update#tw abusive marriage#tw abusive males#tw emotional abuse#radical feminism#radfem#i'm upset
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glory
sunstreaker x f!reader read on ao3 here!
"You're out of your fragging mind if you think you're getting inside my interior like that." Frustrated, your weight shifts from foot to foot, unable to enter as the passenger door slams shut, just shy of your knees. The yellow Lamborghini rolls the window down an inch instead, grumbling without allowing you a moment to interject. "I knew you were stupid, y/n, but this is downright ridiculous."
"Y'know, normally people say 'Hi, feeling any better?'" You deadpan, a sniffle escaping as if on cue. "I'm sick, Sunstreaker. You're acting as if you can catch whatever I have."
"You look awful." He continues, side-view mirror flitting your way. "I didn't realize the severity over the phone. Even your vocalizer, it's like your voice box is congested."
Rolling your eyes, you juggle the tissue box in your arms higher into your hold. "Thanks. Did you forget that you offered to drive, dude?" You turn partially away, sneezing over your shoulder before moving back to address him. "If you're going to be a pain in the ass, let's just save the fight and I'll drive myself."
Unbeknownst to you, Sunstreaker had planned and even had looked forward to spending the afternoon with you, but when you called to cancel saying you had to go to a medic, the mech insisted on taking you. As he surveys your slumped body language, flushed face, and nasally tone, it's fair to say you weren't exaggerating, but he would rather be offlined than admit he was wrong.
"Ugh, just get in the back then. Keep your organic germs to yourself." Sunstreaker gravels, to which his back rear door swings open with clear hesitation in the movement. In that very second, you considered just turning around and heading back inside to get your keys but ultimately decided against it.
"No promises." Sticking your tongue out at him, you climb into the second row, watching as he rolls his heavily tinted passenger window up. With a rumble of his engine, it turns over as he takes off, approaching and teetering over the speed limit, but not speeding, to your surprise.
"You were fine yesterday." He says, center console blinking alight at his words. "What, did you catch something at work?"
He's left you stumped, an overly compassionate Sunstreaker not a mech you're familiar with, but do welcome happily. "Could have, or maybe it's allergies. I'm not positive what I have, but it's getting worse."
"And this so-called medic will give you a remedy?" He snuffs, rolling to a stop at a red light. "I need you better, y/n, you're supposed to wash my exterior tomorrow."
Oh. So that's why he cared so much. "Yes, Sunny, they'll give me medicine." A little more sarcastically, you include: "Go to a car wash if you need to be cleaned so badly."
Sunstreaker sputters, stalling as the light turns green before hitting the gas. "You know I can't without a driver."
"Cry about it." You answer curtly, shoulder leaning on the door before the seat nudges you, beckoning your attention towards the dashboard.
"Alright. I can tell I'm not helping." The rearview mirror tilts towards you, your reflection staring back as your arms cross your chest, giving him a look as if to say 'You think?'. "Fine. Let's take care of you first."
"Thank you." Your shoulders droop, stifling a sneeze. "I know I'm being irritating and cranky, but I'm exhausted. I appreciate your patience with me."
Sunstreaker barks a laugh, and something twinges in your chest that you wish you could have seen it while he wasn't in his alt-mode. "Me? Patient? Ha! You must be delirious too." He pauses briefly before carrying onwards. "But yeah. I'll scrounge the patience I have for the year and use it for today. Least I can do, I guess."
In turn, you giggle, arms falling away from your chest as your body relaxes. "For the whole year? Damn, it must be my lucky day."
"You are lucky." He throws his left blinker on, moving one lane over. "No other human is allowed near my exterior, so be grateful, you ass."
"I am grateful. But does that mean I'm you're favorite?" You say it with enough sarcasm that you thought it would translate, but you fear the question has thrown the poor guy into a loop.
"Yeah," Sunstreaker says eventually, volume just above a murmur. "Something like that."
"That was-" You start, blinking wildly, not expecting the conversation to take such a turn, but entertaining the idea that maybe Sunstreaker didn't entirely dislike you. You'd like to think the two of you were friends, but if you dared to even voice that in a roundabout way, he'd probably punch you, and it would most certainly hurt.
"I know." An ex-vent, but he's hindering his own words as he pulls into the urgent care. "I know you were, but I'm not."
A soft smile blooms across your cheeks, palm patting his seat affectionately. "Good. Because you're my favorite. No joke this time."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, y/n." The yellow lambo pulls into a spot, throwing the gearshift in park before your door pops open. "Let me know what's going on."
"I will Sun. Promise." Exiting the car, Sunstreaker watches you walk across the concrete, a little more energy in your step than earlier. His worry was warranted, but he didn't know how to express it, instead falling to his default, brashness alongside his typical snobby tone.
With another sigh, he relaxes, the engine faltering as he observes his surroundings. You were fine. Repeating that was fine for about three kliks, wondering why you were taking so long and why didn't you message him like you said you would? As if he wished it, an incoming message beeps across, and the yellow mech immediately opens it.
I'll be a bit. You text, fingers running over your keyboard. It's not busy, but I'm waiting for the Doctor. Sorry to make you wait.
He'd wait forever if you asked, but pings a reply back in record time. Fine. I'll be outside. Call me if you need me.
It's an invitation, but disguised as a mere acknowledgment. There's little to be done, but all he wants is for you to return so he can get you back to base so Ratchet can look you over. He doesn't trust human medics, though, he did oblige to your request simply because you implored such.
Another message beeps through, to which he clicks open. I'm fine, Sunny. Stop worrying, okay? I promise I'll wash you the day after next.
To your avid surprise once more, he is quite bossy today, adamant about one thing. Three days from now. You need your rest. Good deal?
Laughing to yourself, you type a message before sending it immediately. I'll take it. Deal.
#sul tf writes#transformers idw#transformers#maccadam#mtmte#sunstreaker#sunstreaker transformers#sunstreaker x reader
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💔 Desperate Plea: Your Donation Could Save My Family from Gaza’s War 🙏😢
Dear friends,
My name is Waleed Alanqar, I come to you today with a heart shattered by fear and despair 💔. My family and I are trapped in Gaza, where the war has left us in a constant state of terror. Every day we hear the sounds of destruction and see the devastation that surrounds us. We are not safe. The lives of my children, my loved ones, and myself are in immediate danger 😢.
We have no choice but to flee. I have found a chance to escape through the Rafah Border Crossing, but without the necessary funds, this escape will be impossible. The cost of this journey is far beyond anything I can afford, and I am running out of time.
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Waleed Family 🙏💔
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Waleed, Areej, and little 3yo Ayman need help to acquire food and shelter and save up for when the Rafah crossing reopens- Can anyone chip in and match me with 5, 10, or 15€?
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Ugh. She literally. Is upset that I dont always like her. Like she hasn't. Given me. Two different kinds of trauma. Across many instances. And has not changed that behavior significantly.
Like. I told her not to drink. Because she gets even worse with boundaries when she drinks. And she responded with. Saying its weird that I dont like her. Like. I havent just. Told you. Why.
And I respond with saying. That its not like I dont like her. Its just that I dont want her to drink around me. Thats all.
She also has told me. To my face. That she hates me <3 so
#-cass#Ugh#I sent her to hang out with a friend today because I couldnt take it anymore#this would be the first time they've willingly hung out with a friend without me#since we've started dating well over a year ago#and its because they decided that today was the day to quit smoking#and have not left me a moment to myself today#after I told them last night. all of this.#implying that my boundaries are important.#I went to the other room to be alone and they followed me#and then I told them I wanted to be alone and they didnt leave??#I'm just so fucking stressed I need a moment to myself.#I probably sound a little insane rn... idk... if so feel free to call me out on it.#I just dont know how to deal.
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heavily debating whether i should start a fast or make pizza
#eating makes me a nasty beast so ill feel like i should kill myself and less able to talk n have fun. whihc i want to do :(#but also pizz.a. . . i want..#it's oven pizza my mom left for me n ive never had this brand n they discontinued the only one i like so i am soso very curious#but at the same time ive already had some kiwi today#going back n forth between its fine !! and no youre going to be so ugly and gross in all the important moments#youre going to ruin everything for what it could have been#i need 2 be smal#i need to be so little
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📓🖊️🧸
#i feel so lonely now bc i have no one to talk to sksksk#my sisters gets mad whenever i try to talk 2 mom and she just slammed doors nd got irritated at me#nd my mom is so stressed nd in a bad mood so she just got annoyed when i tried saying smth to her#so ig i should just vent to my bestfriend beloved diary confidant thats been here for me for 5yrs<3333#anywayyy today was rough.. i woke up w a headache after 3hrs of sleep :((#but still had to get up nd get ready nd eat boxed mashed potatoes for breakkyy 🤢🤮 (it's so gross after eating it everyday lol)#then w my hunchback nd achy stomach i went to school. it was frustrating bc ppl r so fkn rude#they bumped into me at the bus nd i had to sit like a weirdo caging my left stomach side from everyone. had to elbow some dumb fkn guy bc he#pressed his backpack into my side. so i had to basically push it away from me lol he thought i was so weird. but move tf away asshole??????#got to school nd checked myself in the mirror nd i was so pale i look like absolute garbage its annoying :((#it was next to insufferable to endure class bc my head hurt so bad (it was the worst part i think) nd i couldnt sit up straight so my back#hurt so bad too sksksks :<#but i managed to write a little but on my assignment#then i left a bit earlier bc i couldnt stand it anymore i was feeling so bad#wrnt to the library bc i had to return some books. could only carry two small ones tho so have to go back multiple times sksksk#felt soooo bad but ate some more disgusting mashed potatoes nd took a nap w an ice pack. took a migraine pill even if it upsets my stomach🤣#now a few hours later i feel better physically#buuuuuut im so miserable im not even kidding#idc if it sound pathetic or fatty but genuinely that moment w a cup of coffee nd a small chocolate treat everyday makes me feel sm better#like im not kidding!!!!! it does a lot for my peace of mind sksksk T-T#im so miserable bc i cant eat anything still im so hungry :((#and im weak. im pale. my skin's dry. it's itchy bc of malnutrition... i feel faint nd dizzy nd slow nd just not good at all#im so frustrated i hate this sm i wanna feel strong and healthy!! i dont wanna be constantly hungry. i wanna go to the gym nd go for walks#i wanna be able to sit up straight nd not get back pain!!!#i know i know it's only been 8 days since surgery and it takes time to heal i get it..... :(#but theres just too much going on and im so sick and tired of it all#mostly i just wanna be able to eat and feel strong bc i feel so weak nd i miss food so much sksksksk
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#okay no it's not the darkness getting to me there is a real life thing occupying a lot of my brain space#and idk if there's anything to be gained by speaking it out loud into the void but at the moment it's the only thing i Can do#i don't even have to click the 'post' button if i don't want to#but yeah. yesterday got the news that my mom's husband is dying. had a surprise heart attack and he's not gonna make it#just feels super fucking weird#personally i never really liked him at all so it's not like i myself necessarily have to grieve. never was that close with him#but like. oof this is going to be hard for my mom. and i'm super worried about how she's going to survive#but there's nothing to DO about it really. she wanted to have some space to come to terms with this on her own#and she has a strong support network of friends in her city. while i'm on the other side of the country#and don't even know what i could do to help if i was closer to her. i just. like. what can you even do in a situation like this?#just feels weird to Not do anything when i know how huge of an impact this will make for her entire life#she'll probably have to move to a different place too#and there are people there to help her. people with more life experience. people who probably know more about grief than i do#i just. i have no idea how one handles something like this. except for being there for her when asked#do eldest daughters have some sort of universal responsibilities that i'm just not aware of?#it feels kinda horrible how this is constantly circling back to what can *I* do and what must *I* do. how *I* feel#i'd never ever ever make things this much about me in any other setting than my own tumblr blog. in a tag whisper i'm not sure i'll post#but yeah all of this is eating my brain in a very weird way. an odd sort of limbo where it feels like there should be something here#it'd certainly be easier if i had any sort of relationship with the dead person myself. if i had something to grieve myself#now there's just a feeling that something Should be here to feel. and the knowledge of how hard this must be for my mom#ahhhhh idk none of this makes any sense i'm just speaking in circles and everything feels bad#it's bad and horrible and i don't know how to process any of this and i'm stuck in my brain and can't DO anything#there's nothing i can do to help my mom at this exact moment when she wants to be left alone with her thoughts#and i can't do anything else either because all of this feels like a heavy black cloud fogging up my brain#can't concentrate on anything at all today#not fun. not cool#sussitalk
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yada yada happy halloween to these FREAKS (and you guys :3 and myself i gusss :3) doodle from art class that i GUESS could be considered halloween...... idk ok idk ok something was up with me when i drew this
#look killer would like being praised more but to be fair since when has anyone been truly canon with him#to make myself not tweak out i can just pretend this is my fanon#i mean like mtt to me is the epitome of finding slight comfort in suffering when theyre not beating eachother up#dust and horror are affirming killer's terrible thoughts about himself!! how sweet :3 <3 theyre so made for eachother#horror looks like he has a second eye but dont be fooled i just didnt shade that in#i NEED to lock in on that animation. i dont think i have any homework today#i just have a short worksheet and then i'm good to draw i really should really really should im so sorry#disappointed in myself smh more than any of YOU ever will be#originally this was gonna be them in their halloween costumes looking down but then i was like#wait i dont wanna draw killer so ierased him and then just put horror and dust in their normal outfits bc i liked it#and i was like hold up hold up i gotta include killer somehow. SOMEHOW.and then this is the resuly#listen these guys dont freak around but they do various other things that are almost just as freaky as sex#that was more of a side blog thought triglycercule. i know. i will elaborate more there i guess#i ate so much candy today!!! and i didnt even go trick or treating!!!!!#theyre so smitted and enamoured with eachother :333 i love that for them#theyre so cannibalism core. theyre so if i cant have you nobody can core. theyre not soulmates but instead eachothers curse. theyre so UGH#only the murder time trio can match the other 2's freaks i fear nobody else can#its either less crazy or more crazy and these 3 are the perfect amount of balanced to even the other 2 out#i love that one kist animatic that that one really cool twitter kist artist drew#i know theres probably a really good horrordust animatic out there somewhere 2#WHERES THE HORRORKILLER ANIMATIC HUH!!!! WHERE!!!!!!!#horrorkiller once again left out of the trio duo ships......... this is biased i fear#people just hate to see unhealthy bitched unhealthy smh. they can handle toxic kist but they cant handle toxic hrkl???? BLASPHEMY#triglycercule's rambling again (like a dementia patient) i should get to work#i found my first ever sand au fan out in the wild today. this is a moment in history i fear#i will never find another sans au fan in the world until i pass 30 years of age and im sad but whatever#i cant wait to get a job so i can start ordering stickers of my trio#i cant WAIT to get a pinmaker one day and start my very own mtt ita bag#i want a pinmaker so bad god. just so i can staple their faces all over#tricule rant
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Uh oh. Essay in readmore time
What's so frustrating is that for almost all of my life I didn't know I had adhd, and only found it out 5ish years ago
During ALL of my studies i was intensely freaked out and even when i got a grip on some of my mental health shit at uni, importantly I was still unaware of the adhd. And only had some professional tell me about their suspicion about it AFTER I could have received any support in my schooling.
And I have been working damn hard over the last half a decade to learn about myself and the way I work, and be kind to myself and open minded, and learnt from many many different people with adhd how they function - especially through advice on here bc much of Google is shit, and learnt what does and doesn't work for my personally.
I slowly unravelled and found myself. To a point where I'm actually functional and content in myself.
So now i find myself in the most intense, stressful period of my life since then. Grieving and finally understanding what people meant when they spoke about grieving a very close loved one. How nothing feels real even.
And I've found myself so extremely wired from having to do a very vast array of tasks all crammed into a short space of time with a close deadline - exactly the same conditions as during my studies.......... where nothing ever helped.
Yet. In the last thirty minutes I've unwound because I instinctively KNEW what to do. I found myself following all the things i taught myself about my adhd, and now I'm like 70% more chill???? Huh?????? Noticed suddenly that I've been using my ADHD self knowledge for the past few weeks and coped remarkably well because of it.
It's shocking because imagine what i could have done if I had ANY help with my adhd EVER in my life from the adults who were supposed to notice in my entire childhood. Like HUHHHHHH, I am shocked. Imagine how I'm here as an adult using 5 years of learning adhd related advice and stuff I learnt through self awareness .... and feeling better.
SHOCKING!!!!
PS - long ass tags that immediately ramble away from my initial post and go into something positive and that made me feel fluffy inside. You've been warned
#It's so fucking aggravating#i was a self contained child and didn't display the Expected ADHD traits or what fucking ever and so i got left to rot by the system#fantastic#sighhhhh but on the bright side - i am damn PROUD of myself tonight. I've come so far#It's very hard being neurodivergent and I'm doing amazing by own like standards#btw secret lore - first time i ever said aloud that i was proud of myself was in therapy like 6 years ago#and it was indescribably hard to get to that stuttered halting sentence 'i am proud of myself'. so hard and my therapist was so clearly#over the moon for me. i still treasure that memory and the path i have taken to being kind to myself and that's why every time i say#i am proud of myself#it holds the memory of every time I've ever said it or thought it and believed it#every time i see someone do something good i make sure to say well done because I'm proud of them too :-)#i do it apparently with such conviction and sincerety that people stop and stumble sometimes aha#i think it's beautiful to help people notice when they do well. like 'oh skipped work every day until today' - well done u made it today!!#'i cooked a meal and got it the way my mother makes it after many failed attempts' - well done you must have worked so hard#'i made a important phone call' (from friend who has told me before how much they struggle w calls) - BIG WELL DONE that must have been har#It's easy to notice and pay attention to people and congratulate them for these things that may not sound Big bc 'everyone else can do it'#as they say. or they are too busy to notice they did something that took effort on their part. It's so wonderful to make a difference#and hope they can be proud of themselves too in that moment#man this took a positive turn.... this is something I've not really said before. but it is truly so joyful to congratulate people to me
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300#i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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normal again :)
#what the hell was even all that!!!!#im still going through it but like. ive been better today like i didnt just ferment in a dark room hardly eating#and i also got some writing done that actually worked exactly how i wanted it to and i had that age old 'ive still got it!' moment#bc every time i encounter so much as a stone in the road of my writing i convince myself im terrible always have been terrible#will never be good ever and everyone hates me. so there's that#and then i actually interacted with my family and left the blinds up and now we just ordered a take out together so im just. existing#someone is having a paintball battle in my brain still but im being much more chill about it today god bless#and that's all that matters! as long as no one can TELL im going through it it doesnt count! showing emotions is bad! for the love of GOD#dw im pissing myself off too it's okay LMFAO#im gonna answer some asks though! bc not only is there a shitton again but also that always puts me in a good mood#sorry to anyone who has sent me time sensitive asks in the past few weeks. my motivation has just been dead#i do see and enjoy everything i get sent though so please dont feel like it was wasted and ill hopefully still answer it :)#hella goes home
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guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time#they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool#people really. really cool people
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#it is literally homophobic that i have to do manual regression testing today#when i SHOULD be writing more post-s2 fic 😤#my docs are staring at me like. why are you ignoring us#and I'm like. it's because i'm being paid engineer money to do manual testing. nobody wants this to be happening#literally nobody. but it's what has to happen 💔#when I'm doing automation i can give myself time blocks to work on fic every couple hours and it's great#but my brain isnt made for manual testing and all the spreadsheet hell that goes with it#so i cannot deviate from it the entire day or i'll get lost and overwhelmed#because i still need executive functioning left over after work to parent two small kids 🤪#anyway this weekend I'm going on vacation to visit sister in law and her partner. mother in law will also join us#maybe. maybe i will have kid-free moments to write............. maybe 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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